Ward christmas party

I have been to quite a few ward christmas parties. I've put together salads, served mashed potatoes, carved meats and poured water- and I have always loved going to the ward christmas party. The Concord 2nd ward knows how to throw a christmas party! My Hawthorne ward here in Salt Lake could use a little work.

Last night was the christmas party and I was really looking forward to it for a few reasons:

1. I don't have to cook

2. I don't have to do dishes

3. I don't have to be constant entertainment for James

4. socializing

There is almost always some kind of program associated with dinner. In Concord, I LOVED the devotional BEFORE the dinner. Singing with the choir was always a high point. The "dinner entertainment" was usually "Santa Claus" (aka Alan D Simpson) for the little kids and it was magical.

Here is how things went last night:

We came to the party in jeans and sweatshirt because there was no christmas devotional before dinner- The choir is singing on christmas sunday. We walk into the gym which has little decorations and is stuffed with tables- no place for the kids to play:(. The gym, however, is packed with people from the ward- things are looking up. Then, we sit at an unoccupied table so one of the parents constantly getting up and down to chase James is not a problem. It is at the table that I notice certain condiments: Sour cream, Chives, Bacon bits, Butter. Yup. We are apparently having baked potatoes. Usually, this is not a problem- except that we had the EXACT same thing for Halloween. So, in an effort to put on a happy face, I look to the "buffet" tables to see what else we've having that might be edible. Answer: green salad, some kind of fruit salad with mallows and cool whip, green beans (an enormous VAT of them), a very large crock pot of something (more on that in a bit) and a huge basket of rolls.

Oh good, I think to myself, at least I can eat some salads and rolls- that should be fine.

Boy was I wrong.

As soon as the bishop dismisses everyone to get in a line for food I see a member of the activities committee serving up something out of that very large crock pot. As more and more people return to their tables (we have yet to get in line) I see what the "mystery" is: (if you're a vegetarian, skip to the next paragraph) It appears to be some kind of "meat" cooked in a patty shape with gravy. Which- normally- MIGHT not have been that bad, except that it looks like vomit- no joke- which truly disgusts the pregnant woman. I asked Drue to find out what in heaven's name that icky brown sludge tastes like. Answer: nothing. It tastes like someone cooked beef patties with no spices in its own gristle and added a bit of water to make a "gravy".

Ew, Ew, Ew.

So, I tried the salad: apparently it had been frozen in the fridge and so the lettuce was all de-frosted wilty and slimy. I took a look for some salad dressing: only Ranch. I tried the fruit salad- which is HARD to ruin. Well, they did. It was ALL CANNED FRUIT- like mangoes, papaya and some other unidentifiable fruit.  Usually I like mangoes and papaya- but I like hem fresh! The only "real" fruit was sliced grapes.

At least they have rolls, I thought. So I bite into one- stale.

OH! they're bringing around brownies and ice cream- dry and tasteless.

And then the entertainment for the evening began- an introduction to accordion music- and we left.

Quiznos, here we come!